Sad ending and an incredibly beautiful beginning

Dear readers,

I am sorry you haven’t heard of me in a while. These last couple of months have been an emotional rollercoaster. I usually don’t really post a lot about my own personal life, but I will have to tell you why I have been quiet. First of all, I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends for 12 years. Before you take out your tissues, I must admit she was a cat. But what a cat! I got her when I was going through a challenging transition in my life. I was in my early twenties and I  had just started my studies in Educational Sciences. She brought me plenty of joy at the turbulent twenties, but little did I know at that point what an amazing personality she would grow up to be.

The most amazing thing about her was that she was always there for me when I really needed her. She had a phenomenal ability to detect if I am not ok, sometimes even before I myself recognised it. Once she kept on coming to my lap, and as she otherwise was a typical cat, who kept a respectful distance mostly (except at night, that’s when she loved me hehe), it was a bit unusual behaviour of her. Finally I realised I felt a bit funny, and took out a thermometer: my fever was already high and rising! She saw my tears when I was breaking up with a boyfriend or grieving a lost friend. I think, especially on my single years I would have felt much lonelier if she wasn’t there. I remember one particular Christmas evening, when I was waiting for my parents to fetch me. They promised they would come at six p.m., but since they at the time were busy entrepreneurs, they only came 9.30 in the evening. By that time I had cried on my kitchen floor for hours, my Simba in my lap.

Naturally there were more happy moments! We both, as proper Finns, loved to sauna. Almost all new Finnish houses have a sauna, and so did my studio apartment. When I turned the sauna on, my cats went in. When I went in myself, they came out but went back in as soon as I left and switched the sauna off.

We had great adventures together: we moved from one city apartment to another further away from downtown, and she got to walk in a leash in forest and stroll around in the suburb’s parking lots. She hated the leash but loved outdoors! I remember once I was extremely busy taking garbage out and she saw her chance is here…and boom she ran out in to the woods! I nearly panicked thinking who to contact and what to do, and ran in to get my phone. Before I had called the police, army and firefighters, she ran back to the door with the speed of light, her tail buffed up. There must have been something scary out there!

Simba

However, our greatest adventure together was, when I found the love of my life and moved from north of Europe to the south of Africa. Together we travelled with three different planes and flew from Finland to Namibia. I couldn’t imagine my life without her, even though she would have had the best possible care as my parents said they would take her. For the last two years of her life Simba lived happily under the Namibian sun, enjoying the warm days, exploring the garden (without a leash!)and sleeping cozy with us during the night in the bed.

As the days grew shorter, she barely ate and mostly slept, in and out of hospital, sometimes better, until the day we all feared was there. The vet told us we should let her go. We all cried, as she drifted away peacefully in my arms while my husband was holding us. I made sure that through my tears the last words she heard was me telling her how much we love her and how one day we will see again and be together forever. My husband, who loves animals but is not quite as crazy as I am said: “She was the most incredible little creature I had ever met. A fearless Lion!” That is a beautiful tribute to my little Simba.

Just after two weeks of my beloved kittys’ passing, our beautiful, absolutely perfect daughter saw the world outside my womb. What an incredible happening it was, her birth and these days and weeks after that, watching her grow, or even just sleep peacefully makes my heart feel so content! I am still overwhelmed about all the things that happened, before, during and after the amazing event.

This is the beginning of a new journey, inderscribably full of life with all of its colours. I consider myself as a rather ambitious woman with career goals, but being a mother is the most beautiful thing I have ever accomplished. For me these two can walk hand in hand, the way I accomplish them is another story which I will figure out later.